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Look, I am just going to lay it out here for you BTP. We do this because we love it, not because we want to make your life difficult.

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Firstly, let me just say that I am delighted you used so much toner working toward a better understanding of how urban exploration functions as a critical spatial practice to unveil hidden parts of the city and activate little moments of urban orgasmic wonder in an age rendered increasingly banal by forces of securitisation (no offence intended).

We always suspected that only you guys, and maybe some of the TFL track workers, could ever understand the depths of our tube and train fetish.

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We were also very forthcoming when you caught us, we played fair.

Tell me, have you learned anything new looking through our hard drives full of porn and pictures of trains and cranes? And in terms of the acts of “terror” you apparently think we are involved with, well the only terror we inspire is the kind that makes you think about your life and how you’ve wasted it working at a boring office job when you could have been running around in TFL tunnels with that warm, brakedust-laced air swishing around you, getting all in your teeth and jumping over the 3rd rail running from the worktrains at 3am, diving into the Japanese knotweed they never clear up.

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It’s not any more terrorful than, let’s say yarn bombing or throwing magnetic lights on buildings or skateboarding.

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