Template dating website profile

“If you’re just looking for a fling, skip the photos from the church bake-off and beef it up appropriately.” Extra points for artsy/humorous/evocative shots.

Subtract major points for fuzzy/out of focus/mug shot/creepy head chopped in half, and even more for those that feature dirty laundry in the background, or ex-girlfriends not so cleverly cropped out of the frame.

Even taking all the aforementioned steps, Robinson notes that capturing the cute, pithy individual you are can be a daunting prospect.

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That’s because love, like the Internet, has a lingo and etiquette all its own.

Combining the two in an online dating scenario can complicate the delicate dance even further. Maybe Boy and Girl meet—or maybe they don’t, and if they do, do Boy and Girl live up to their profiles and live happily ever after?

I don't know why, I don't know how, I only know that I was at the supermarket one fine morning, minding my own business, when suddenly I came face to face with "the sun-dried plum." I will tell you right now that I'm a fan of the prune—particularly when it's in Danish form—but the prune was clearly not selling.

For the prune to turn heads (not to mention meet a nice guy, move to the suburbs, and have a couple of baby prunes) it needed a fresh marketing strategy.

We’ve tapped Nerve.com’s dating columnist Caitlin Robinson, AKA Miss Information, to offer some tips and tricks to those of you prepping to post your profile.

NEXT: "Cool" guys finish last [pagebreak] Vague adjectives signal “dull” and appear in far too many profiles, Robinson warns.

Whether you’re hankering after a pistol grip for that vintage Hasselblad single reflex camera, or want to learn all the lyrics to R. M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know it,” the World Wide Web has made tracking down and securing even the most obscure objects your heart desires a lot easier.

Yet, when it comes to online matters of the heart, finding “the one” often remains elusive.

“‘I’m a laid-back, easygoing guy…’ Such terms are practically meaningless.

Even high-strung people often think they’re ‘laid-back.’ Find something more descriptive.” Other common terms to be avoided: “cool,” “awesome,” “funny.” “Nearly everyone ‘loves to laugh’ and ‘enjoys fun.’ None of that sets you apart. “Put yourself into a potential date's shoes on this one. ’ Blech—that conversation is a total wipeout.” A better alternative, she explains, is telling stories.

Instead of saying, ‘I’m witty,’” Robinson suggests, “say, ‘I’m one part Ricky Gervais, one part Jon Stewart, and a soupcon of Fred Flintstone.’ That paints a more vivid picture.” I like surfing, reading, swimming, jogging, and cooking. If you saw a list like this on a cute girl’s profile, how would you possibly respond? “ ‘Last summer, I went surfing at the Jersey Shore nearly every day with my dog Rufus. Buy me a beer, and I’ll tell you more.’ Something like that gives a date plenty to want to talk to you about—plus you sound like an active, interesting person, not just a list of gerunds.” Don’t stretch the truth, even on minor details.

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