Sex addiction online dating
They may have sensed something was not right, but had no way to prove what it was.
Fisher and his wife, Marsha, have shared their road to recovery individually and in their marriage along with resources for others struggling with pornography addiction on their Website, Pornto
In his post, "5 Reasons Ministers are (More) Vulnerable to Sexual Temptation," he writes: "Let me start off by saying, no one is immune to sexual temptation. Ministers have jobs that automatically put them in a pressure cooker."Of the five reasons Fisher writes about, he told The Christian Post that the most likely cause for falling for sexual temptation is that "ministers are often isolated and unaccountable for their actions.""Isolation with no accountability is a prelude to disaster," he explained.
It doesn't matter what your job is, how old you are, or how much time you spend with Jesus each day.""We all have the potential to fall sexually," he continues. "When we cut ourselves off from others we're shutting off sources of truth and objectivity. If I have good policies for my visitation and counseling they can help me establish boundaries," he said."If the policies around the pastorate are regularly reviewed, that can be a good measure of protection for the minister.
We lose the opportunity for fellowship and confession."Fisher said there are plenty of examples in the Bible about "one anothers," Christians working together to support and hold each other accountable for their potential and occurring sins."Accountability can be personal… If you have accountability software on your personal laptop and on the church computers, it provides another level of transparency that is essential for maintaining sexual purity," he added.
So does that mean there is no hope in finding a good counselor to help a woman whose world has been turned upside down by the discovery of her husband’s pornography or sexual addiction? But it may prove to be more challenging than it should be.
Below are some tips I hope you will find helpful in finding a counselor who will offer you the validation and guidance you need and deserve. Read the book, Your Sexually Addicted Spouse, by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means.
This will educate you on the sex-addiction induced trauma model. Ask if they use the term co-addict to label partners of sex addicts, especially before they have even met them.
Then call around to therapists and ask if they are familiar with the book and subscribe to what it teaches. (You can often find this on their website, which will help you rule out many therapists quickly.) If they do sometimes diagnose clients as co-sex addict, and hopefully they don’t, ask if they evaluate them first or if that is the name they give all partners of sex addicts.
Pastors and others in the ministry, as well as other helping professionals, will benefit as well.
APSATS is a non-profit organization dedicated to the professional training and certification, public education, research and advocacy for treatment of sex addiction- induced trauma. If your husband is in recovery and you both want to stay married, ask if they support simultaneous couple’s and individual counseling.
The co-addict model says a person who is married to a sex addict is sick, out of control, addicted to their spouse, and implies she is partially to blame for his behavior, simply because she chose to marry a sex addict, even though the vast majority of the time she did not even know he was an addict.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating