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’ became my mantra, as chatter around me became seriously annoying. Young Mark returned a week later and unpacked a pair of beige hearing aids with plastic loops to keep them in place. I failed to get the knack of removing my specs and not taking the devices with them.

With these, the sounds from my deaf ear would transmit to my good ear.‘How will I know if the batteries need replacing? ‘You’ll start to say “pardon”.’ He’s been stored in my i Phone contacts as Mark Pardon ever since. But here’s what I now know: losing your hearing in one or both ears promises a daily catalogue of indignities, only some of which are directly to do with being deaf. Worse, the batteries always ran out when I was in a hurry.

Doubtless, hearing aids, of what I’d call the old-fashioned kind, work perfectly well for people who have long hair, don’t wear specs and are of a tidy, ordered mind. At a dinner at Tate Modern in 2012 to mark the opening of the Damien Hirst exhibition, I arrived late and the director of Tate Britain at the time, Penny Curtis, offered me a quick tour while guests were having pre-dinner drinks.‘Oh, whoops,’ said Penny, as we stood in front of a glass installation, with dozens of live flies buzzing around.

‘You’ve got a bit of yellow confetti in your hair.’I swept a small, bright, yellow piece of paper off the top of my head and thanked her.

'Did not want to end up in an institution: Deaf Belgian twins Marc and Eddy Verbessem chose to die by euthanasia because they feared losing their independence after learning they would also soon go blind The twins, from the village of Putte, near the city of Mechelen, were told they would go blind from a genetically caused form of glaucoma and had other severe medical problems, their local doctor, David Dufour.

The pair, who both worked as cobblers and could communicate with each other using a special sign language understood only by them and their close family, enlisted the support of Mr Dufour to be euthanised.Grandma Robinson lived in a gloomy, semi-detached Edwardian villa in Birkdale, Lancashire, along with her friend Mrs Joyce, another widow.These outings promised only three hours or so of mind-numbing boredom.The hairs in my left ear had flattened and couldn’t be revived, he reported.My saviour came in the shape of the dashing fashion designer, Rupert Lycett Green, who one day produced a bright red ball from each of his ears. What’s more, he’d had them fitted for no greater price than I’d paid Mark Pardon.Brussels University Hospital: In Belgium, some 1,133 cases of euthanasia - mostly for terminal cancer - were recorded in 2011, about one per cent of all deaths in the country, according to official figures More to come?

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