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Up until this, I thought things were okay in our marriage, though of course we haven’t had much couple time with the demands of four children but this discovery has come as a bolt out of the blue.It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.
ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.
Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people.
When you and your partner become intimate, ultimately great sex is the goal—we get that.
But before you hit the lights there are a few topics the two of you should cover, together, if you want to minimize your chances of an awkward moment in bed.
To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.
At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people.Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.Knowing each other’s desires, preferences, and sexual past is key in starting things off on the right foot.Here’s some great advice from two of our favorite sexperts on how to get there.Improving the marriage The discovery of your husband’s online world is a crisis in your marriage but it can also represent an opportunity.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating