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The company is extremely small—only seven to 10 people—and there is no HR department.My girlfriend and I are planning to get engaged within the next year, and I’m stressing about how to tell my boss that I’ve been dating a girl all along—not a boy.

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I nearly broke up with him over it, but we talked it through, chose to stay together, and continued having regular sex. I know my ex was a jerk for not finding a more tactful way to communicate his needs, but this is seriously messing with my confidence. sure), but if your ex wanted something different from you in bed, it was incumbent on him to tell you what he wanted, not to offer you an evaluation of your overall status as a lover.

I didn’t think about it much for the remainder of our relationship. It’s hard to let go of a voice in your head that says, “My ex knows the truth about me, which is that I am an objectively bad lover, and everyone else is just too polite to say anything,” but it’s just that: a voice. If you want to know what future partners like in a lover, you can absolutely ask them! : I know that a guy in my friend group sexually assaulted a woman at a mutual friend’s wedding.

Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Worried about my bedroom skills: I got out of a long-term relationship a few months ago, and am starting to get back on the dating scene.

Not looking for anything serious at this point, just casually dating.

There’s so many stories about women being sexually assaulted (I have my own), what do I do when I know the assaulter? You say that you’re dealing with your own feelings about assault resurfacing in the wake of a renewed public conversation about the topic, so I understand that you want to prioritize your own well-being right now, and that’s absolutely fine.

But if you know Jeff to have recently committed sexual assault (not only that, but that you yourself are not surprised that he has done it, which suggests that he has behaved quite badly many times in the past and gotten away with it), and if he has experienced zero social, legal, or relational consequences, then I think you’re right to say you can’t be around him anymore.I’m worried about potentially homophobic reactions, as well as how this revelation will reflect upon my character—namely that I’ve been lying about this for more than two years now. A: If you’re worried about homophobic reactions at work and you don’t have an HR department, then I think you might want to consider looking for jobs at a different company.That’s not going to happen immediately, I understand; jobs aren’t always easy to come by, but I don’t think you have a lot of recourse at your current situation if your boss ends up being as homophobic as you fear.My stepchildren are all married and had children at very young ages—the grandchildren are older than my daughter.My relationship with my stepchildren has mostly been civil and respectable as I came into their lives when they were adults.I am terrified they are going to poison the grandchildren against us.

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