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Being able to build relationships with strangers is a critical part of networking in general.
To take a recent example: if you’re hoping to make professional connections at a convention, the place to do so isn’t on the con floor, it’s at the then you need to know how to start making friends with total strangers in a place where you have next to no social support.
Direct openers are exactly what it says on the tin: you’re being direct and upfront with someone about why you’re talking to them. It’s short, simple and establishes early on that you’re interested in her It can be polarizing – after all, you’re basically asking her to make a judgement right away as to whether she wants to talk to you – but it also means you find out very quickly whether or not she’s available, which means you spend less time on metaphorical dead-ends.
If you take longer than 5 minutes, you’ve gotten hung up on the open and need to segue into actually talking to them.
Once you have the person’s attention, it’s time to start building interest and attraction.
Indirect openers tend to be either the classic “opinion” opener – where you are soliciting a third-party’s opinion about a matter – or a situational or observational opener.
These follow the same pattern: Question, rationale for asking, expanding on the story.
ways of doing this – online dating, joining an amateur sports team, taking continuing education classes or finding like-minded groups on – there’s a truth that they all have in common: you’re going to have to learn the art of the cold approach. You’re going to feel like you’re putting your entire self-worth into somebody else’s hands.
Cold approaches are when you’re meeting someone you have no social connection with; unlike with a warm approach, you’re meeting a complete and total stranger without even the “friend-of-a-friend” buffer to ease your way. So here are some tough truths about making cold approaches: they can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to hook up that night.
For another, not everyone you’re going to be attracted to or want to meet is going to be within the expected six-degrees-of-separation that warm approaches bring.
There will be plenty of times when you will find some hot stranger with no connection to your life – the girl who sits across from you in your Conversational Spanish class, the gorgeous woman with the pouty lips you see every week at Whole Foods, the cute bookworm browsing the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section of Barnes And Noble.
Meanwhile, one of the guys is all “come at me, bro”, doing the whole chest-thumping pre-fight warm-up and – check this out – the other dude rolls up and just COLD-COCKS him.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating