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and the horrible insults, his leaving for days at a time as I found affairs, more and more, I finally filed for divorce.I hung on so long, prayed, cried, begged, but he just continued and went beserk and lied and lied.I have posted here several times, but have never shared my story. Mine did not end with my husband caring enough to get help and change his ways. When I got the phone call he did not recognize my voice or that he had dialed me, even repeated him self when I said “what?

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I now know that there are real monsters that have no empathy and no conscience.

So fast forward into eleven years of marriage, and as each year went by he seemed to become more and more irrational and mean.

I made the mistake of always asking him what was going on when I found things…always lied.

I discovered a double life, I pieced it together and found that when he was the cruelest to me it was when he had an affair going on.

A friend called me to tell me he was married with three kids a year later when she found out.

All my family and friends now tell me they never trusted him, they always felt like he treated me wrong, and that he is a player. He went out with her when his first wife was pregnant and they were still together.

He even forced a knife in my hand once and tried to stab himself, with my hand, so he could claim I was trying to stab him….I was so stupid and trusting and hoped and prayed and met with his therapists….everything….he never felt remorse, actually only cried when thought about how what all he had done said about him.

He never cared about what it did to me, or our son. Broke my finger, threw me to the ground or across the room…was losing control of the situation because he controlled everything with lies, and I was now looking and finding them. The strip club, he knew the strippers personally, had their numbers, met them outside the club.

They just never said anything because they had no proof, they just felt it. I was horrified, I insisted he get help, he went one time, said the therapist said he had a lot of issues, he came clean with everyone, seemed sincere, ate crow, all the things you would expect, and I thought well he’ll not lie again, he is remorseful, he was traumatized by his wife leaving, etc.

When I found out he was married that first year and confronted him, the reason he said he lied was that the woman who introduced us had gone out with him and he had never told her he was married. etc…made excuses for who I thought was a normal person who made grave mistakes. I did not know people could lie daily and pretend so well…..

We played this perfect family, but I wasn’t playing, I worked and loved hard. He has to have admiration of others, and women are easy. He also has no regard for others (empathy) and no qualms at all lying and looking you straight in the eyes, daily, even with proof in your hands. He uses people for his own gratification, not one person means anything to him except for how they can make him feel. When I kept finding more and more concrete proof and he could no longer lie, he got violent because he was discovered and I required he get help, that was the only way I would consider not filing for divorce.

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