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Or should I give him a parting thank-you note when I am released, that suggests I am open to being friends after the doctor-patient relationship ends? Transference is the psychoanalytic process by which emotions originally associated with one person are unconsciously shifted to another person, especially to the analyst or, according to your overly analytical friend, the surgeon. Genuinely nice people tend to gravitate toward pediatrics or family practice, not surgery. Surely the surgeon realized that the first time he walked into your room.

I find him very attractive and I am fairly certain he is spending considerably more time with me than his other patients. One need not invoke such a deep explanation for your response, which, as I see it, is simply the basic human tendency to like people who are kind and take the time to express genuine interest in others. Offhand, I cannot think of any surgeons I know who have captivating personalities. Men generally do not waste any time cozying up to beautiful women.

The guidance, issued yesterday, tells doctors they still cannot initiate 'sexual' or 'improper' relationships with current patients, but says they can date former patients, as long as they give "careful consideration" to certain factors.

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I also notice his voice gets very soft and higher pitched when he is up close.

I really feel there is a mutual chemistry there, but am afraid to say or do anything about it.

It was just my leg, but I found myself admiring his hands! One of my friends says this doctor is probably just comfortable with me and uses the extra time to take a little break from the routine. I have never seen your picture, but I would bet that you are attractive.

Maybe I should just put this aside and assume if he is interested and available that he will find a time and a way to approach me? Your surgeon was initially aloof, brief, and arrogant—in other words, a typical surgeon. However, it takes a man less than a second to determine if a woman is attractive.

That overly strait-laced sense of propriety kept me from reciprocating interest in various female patients who flirted with me. It turns out that I did not have to go back to those friggin' transistors and whatnot, but I did not know that at the time.

I met those patients in the ER, so they were minutes away from being ex-patients. You don't know how much your surgeon knows about the ethical guidelines governing physician-patient romance. Your surgeon may be as uninformed as I was about this topic, so you cannot assume that he will make the first overt move if his seeming affection is real. However, if you wish to maximize your chance of success, there is something that you must do.Yes, it was a stretch, but one must leave no stone unturned in trying to explain once-in-a-blue-moon events, such as a surgeon morphing from a brusque doctor to a sweet-as-honey man. If I had to commit to one explanation, I would not hesitate to guess that it is plain ol' hormones—not fear of a lawsuit—that is motivating your surgeon.However much he would like to wrap his alluring hands around your body, there is one thing preventing him from doing what men usually do in such cases: ask for a date. His medical license or, more to the point, his desire to keep it.If I knew you were single, I'd ask you out for a date." Of course, how that message is delivered is crucial. I think smiling and a slight playfulness would be best. State medical boards generally take a dim view of doctors becoming romantically involved with their patients.

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