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‘Being honest with each other eases resentment which will, in turn, improve your sex life,’ she says.
‘Think about sex in a different way: it doesn’t have to be penetrative sex. It’s never too much effort to have a cuddle.’ Suzie advises parents of children of all ages to make it a habit to plan regular times when they can be alone together.
‘Strengthening your relationship isn’t selfish – it benefits the whole family.
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She adds that, while it’s never too late to put sex back on the agenda after children – even if you haven’t been doing it for years – doing so benefits not just you, but the whole family.
‘It’s quite a common idea in our culture that you are somehow selfish to want a sex life after having children,’ she says.
Many experience this in the months after a new baby when recovery from the birth, and sheer physical exhaustion, seem to leave little time for sex.
Suzie advises that couples should keep talking about how they’re feeling during this time, and still show affection to each other, even if they don’t feel ready for full sex.
I dread Saturday mornings because we both have the day off and I know he’ll wake me up wanting it.
Most of the time I just go through the motions to keep the peace.” Suzie Hayman, Family Lives trustee and sexpert, says that these feelings are common, but it doesn’t have to be this way.Most parents know that having less sex is part and parcel of life with a new baby.Yet when the children are a bit older, when we’re less tired and we have more opportunity to be intimate, we can look forward to our sex life returning pretty much to what it was pre-children, right? According to a survey carried out for Family Lives, parents having the least sex are the ones whose children are teenagers.66 per cent of our respondents have teenage or older children, followed by those with children aged between 5 and 12 (49%).Clearly, these parents aren’t struggling with sleep deprivation or exhausted by the demands of caring for a newborn.One father of three daughters aged 16, 14 and 11 told Family Lives: “My wife just isn’t interested any more.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating