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He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.

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Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.

He wrote down his height (6 feet), listed his interests (podcasts, basketball, reading) and included photos of himself outdoors.

“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.

“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.

This alleviated the feeling of being overwhelmed and helped him get to know the person he was interested in.

Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.Compared with black, white and Latino men, Asian men receive fewer matches and messages from women on the dating site.That’s not to say online dating can’t work for Asian men.Compared with other men she met on Match.com, Maltempo was far less flirtatious and more direct. But after a friend urged Jiang, a 27-year-old native of China, to give Maltempo a chance, she realized that unlike some other people she was talking to, there was substance behind Maltempo’s messages. Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.

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