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“We do see a lot of men’s profiles that have been quickly put together,” says Braley.“Women really reward the guys who take the time to get outside, get a friend to take a picture of them, and put in a little bit of extra effort.” Women, on the other hand, are advised to keep it inside, because outdoor photos decreased their messages received by 40%.

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“People who want to date women, whether that’s men or women, seem to be more concerned about authenticity and is this person heavily filtering this picture,” says Braley.

But for men, she wonders if they are lacking skills in the art of the selfie.

And secondly, isn’t there some sort of waiver they should sign?

But the hard fact is that people who use group shots including themselves see 42% fewer messages than those who fly solo.

Although we’ve each managed to make some pals on our own, it’s a little weird to invite a single girl or guy to join the two of us for the spring party at our wine club in Napa. Considering the preponderance of online dating options that cater to the nichiest of niches—survivalists, Trekkies, hotties, potheads, hot potheads—it seemed almost impossible that there wasn’t a dating site geared toward couples who wanted to connect with other like-minded couples for fun, adventure, and wine tasting. And as I perused the profiles of other nice-looking couples in the Bay Area who were just there to make friends, I found myself thinking, Ahem. And they’re so mistrusted that many have to put up huge disclaimers assuring visitors that they are not secretly trying to organize swingers’ parties.

After this flash of brilliance, I had the business plan all figured out in my head (along with my millions of dollars in profits): couples would upload a profile detailing their background and interests, and could connect with other local couples who wanted to branch out and broaden their social circles. I’d already almost finished writing our hilarious, enchanting profile as well as mentally planning our new gang’s future Halloween parties and boozy baby showers when I stumbled upon a most unfortunate fact. So I guess that there’s at least one reason why “couples dating” has not become the Next Big Internet Thing.

Maybe another reason is that couples dating just presents too many veto opportunities.

It’s tough enough trying to get two people together—trying to perfectly mesh music tastes with gastronomic preferences, plus figuring out where the other party stands on controversial topics such as Peeps or the Real Housewives.

Married couple, early thirties, seeks same for enjoyable evenings spent enjoying cool restaurants, drunken afternoons in wine country, and general hooliganry. Encyclopedic pop culture knowledge and love of video games a plus. Youngs, you know how people say that it gets harder to make friends as you get older? And if you’re a couple looking for other couples to hang out with, it’s double-true.

So when you’re a married couple who gets transplanted across the country, far away from most of your friends and family, you’re pretty much screwed.

This is the situation with which I currently struggle.

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