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I’m assuming you are based in the USA, in which case you might like to check out Wikipedia’s page concerning the age of consent in whichever of the 50 states you reside in: I hope my comments have been at least somewhat useful. Let's keep comments for clarifying or requesting clarification to the content, and not for criticisms or discussion.

One thing you haven't discussed very much in your account is your daughter's relationship with her other friend (the one who is aged 13 or 14).

I'm not sure what your attitude is towards friendship, but unless some obvious red flags are apparent there, I'd be inclined to avoid doing anything that might give your daughter (who is currently very sensitive about the interference of her parents in her relationships with her peers) any additional cause for resentment.

As a PIA growing up, my parents tended to let me sort through my own problems, and it helped me to mature as an individual, especially knowing that I could make mistakes on my own, without them interfering.

Now this is just my perspective as a recent teenager, but I joined the community to upvote this post. 1I would recommend instituting something of an open-door policy (to the extent of your choice) so as not to disrupt an otherwise healthy and platonic relationship.

If you disagree with an answer, it is okay to post a short comment explaining why you are (presumably) downvoting it, but let's keep it civil, and directly to the point.

As a heterosexual male who has never been in a situation anywhere like this, this is EXCELLENT advice.

We tried to explain that it was an age thing, that if the 17yo was a boy, we would have done the SAME thing.

We explained we did it to protect her, we explained how 13yo and 17yo have different emotions and all the rest, but of course she didn't want to hear it. She just lays in her room in the dark not talking to anyone. I know it is not my job to be her friend right now, but to be her mom, but any advice would be appreciated.

Apart from anything else, for as long as she is upset about your interference in her relationships with her friends, her ability to concentrate on her schoolwork is likely to be at least somewhat impaired.

One of the other people who responded to your question raised the issue of the age of consent.

) She told me that her and the 17yo were "seeing each other" and that the 17yo has an "open" relationship with a boy as well, which means they can see other people.

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