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If your deepest desire is to have a strong, healthy, covenant, marriage that is #beating50percent, then you have to be willing to align your strongest desires with your deepest desires. But I was dating to marry, and if Audrey was going to be my wife, then I needed to learn an important lesson So I put myself in Audrey’s shoes, and thought to myself, “What if Audrey had a guy friend who was becoming her best friend, and it wasn’t me…” I hated the thought. Within marriage that would be so wrong it’s insane. I’ve heard people say that being able to have opposite-sex friends is a sign of a healthy relationship. In my opinion, this viewpoint is naive and selfish.

I was in love with Audrey and she knew that, this girl was just my who I cared about deeply. Marriages have “ups” and “downs.” During an “up” season, where everything is bright and dandy, it might be easier to allow a seemingly harmless opposite-sex relationship to exist, even if it frustrates your spouse a little bit.

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For Audrey and I, our boundary is that we don’t hang out alone with anyone of the opposite sex. If so, then don’t make room for relationships that will cause your spouse to doubt, feel jealous, compare themselves, or even feel like they are missing out.

if one of us has respectfully asked the other not to. Don’t send that completely innocent text about “work stuff” after hours.

But what I am saying is, the unavoidable progression of relationships is something that is far to easily ignored, for how dangerous they can be.

If ignored and dismissed for too long, you’ll be in a relationship too deep to stop.

The good person in you won’t want to hurt them (your opposite-sex friend) or your spouse because neither one deserves to be hurt. These situations can seem complicated, but they are actually quite simple to understand.

*Disclaimers* Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex.

Here is my experience with this type of situation: While I was in college in Santa Barbara, I had a good friend that was a girl. This started to cause a lot of issues with Auj and I… Audrey had asked me many times to stop hanging out with this girl as frequently as I was. I was wrapped up in my “harmless” relationship with this girl.

Simultaneously, Audrey and I were in a long-distance relationship. but I couldn’t understand why, because in my mind we were just friends, maybe even in her mind too. There came a time where, despite my lack of understanding at the time, if I wanted a healthy relationship with Audrey, I had to say goodbye to my friend.

No, I am not saying this is the say all end all on the debate.

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